Last Week in Connecticut

On Sunday I flew out to Connecticut by way of LaGuardia, and I should have known it would be a good trip judging by how smoothly the flights went and the fact that we landed on my favorite runway. What? You don't have a favorite runway at a particular airport? What's wrong with you?

The purpose of the trip was to catch up and hang out with the kids I took care of way back when I lived and worked in Connecticut. They're still as busy as ever, but they're also older and can do more things for themselves, so even though I helped out a bit by driving them some places and getting dinner together one evening (reheating leftovers--complicated), the time I spent with them felt relaxed and easy. The only thing I didn't get to do was sleep in, and even that didn't trouble me too much, thanks to the copious amounts of coffee (glorious coffee!) I was able to ingest. I didn't take as many photos as I have in the past, and this year, thanks to an unexpected financial issue, I was only able to go into New York City for one day, but both of these things turned out to be for the best. Not being tied to my camera allowed me to get a ton of reading done in between the kids' events at swim meets and not going into the city for a second day allowed me to spend more leisure hours with the kids. Win-win, right? And I did get a few good photos anyway.

First we have Grand Central Terminal, also known as Possibly My Favorite Place in NYC. This may seem odd, as I generally do not love crowds, but I do love watching people, and there's just something about the combination of bustle and quiet observation that gets me every time.



Also, they have a Pylones right there inside. If you haven't ever been to a Pylones, you might be missing out; this all depends on how strong your feelings are about whimsical French tchotchkes. For example, I went in to get an Eiffel Tower cheese grater, but ended up with the following instead:



Yes, that is a chicken tape dispenser. It looks fantastic on my desk, just two shelves below my jackelope bank. Stop laughing and/or rolling your eyes. My tchotchkes could beat up your tchotchkes any day of the week.

On the last night I was in Connecticut, we went to a little carnival. At the carnival, you could win things:



Or ride things:



Or even try to take photos of nothing while riding those things:



What can I say? I was trying not to vomit, thanks to the fact that my motion sickness medication most definitely did not kick in.

And I didn't vomit, by the way. Otherwise, I would not have given Connecticut such high marks.

See you next year, Nutmeg State.

All the Introverts Will Pick Up What I'm Putting Down Here

It had been too long since I had a day to myself. So I got up at 6:30am and headed out to pick blueberries before my husband even woke up. It started raining just as I pulled up to the berry patch, but I didn't go all the way out there just to turn around. So I pulled out my ridiculously large umbrella and picked for two and a half hours. When a friend phoned in the middle of it all and expressed sympathy when I said that, yes, I was indeed alone, I had to refrain from expressing all-too-exuberantly that I didn't really care. Because, in fact, I might have smacked someone if I'd had company. Okay, maybe not literally, but in my mind I would have been smacking someone, and I believe there's a verse in the Holy Bible about committing sin in your heart being just as bad as doing the thing for real. And so: I was alone, and no one got smacked literally or by my thoughts. Everybody wins!

Lost and Found

Guess what? I have a dining room table. I know--shocking! I found it under all the unopened mail and various articles we've bought for our hypothetical child. And by "we," I mean "me." Jarod hasn't bought anything for our hypothetical child yet; it's probably because I love her more than he does.

Or maybe because he would rather learn Amharic online than go shopping, but whatevs. Details.

I'm trying to cut back on buying things, though, because I've been traveling a lot (never as cheap as I think it will be) (you'd think I'd adjust my expectations, but no) and I've had a loss of a bit of work this week. I'm trying not to make a big deal out of this, as it could be worse, and also: traveling! I pretty much usually love it!

This past weekend I spent in Vancouver with my dear friend Sharon mostly and somewhat with her famous photographer husband (I got the book FOR FREE, SUCKAHS), sleeping on their sofa and drinking lots of coffee. Vancouver also decided to pull out all the stops when it came to weather, and the days were sunny and in the upper 70s. Sharon was so kind to fly me up there using her air miles, so the expenses were limited to sucky airport food and the coffee and tchotchkes I felt it necessary to obtain while visiting our northern neighbor. As a bonus, I only whined a tiny bit about being unable to afford the perfect shoes I shouldn't have even looked at, much less tried on. I came back with a handmade cat doll for our hypothetical child, paper for a curb score furniture project, a Chewbacca Pez dispenser for Jarod, and Canadian candy bars that I actually shared with my husband. I am such a giver.

In order to keep the airport from being lonely for me, I fly out for yet another trip on Sunday, this time to visit my Connecticut kids. I anticipate a good deal of hangout time, some iced coffee near the water, and possibly a boat ride on the sound if I'm lucky. I'm also hoping to spend a couple of days in NYC, though due to financial concerns, that's up in the air. I'll certainly spend one day in the city, but two is questionable. And if it's between an extra day in the city and a perfect pedicure at my favorite pedicure spot in the whole US of A, I have a feeling it will be a gut-wrenching decision.

As much as I know I'll enjoy the trip, I will be more than happy to arrive home Friday afternoon. Two long weekends plus a nearly a week away, all in rapid succession, is on its way to making me a bit batty, and it will be a relief to find my footing after so much packing and unpacking. I love the trips, but hate the mayhem. I'm just looking forward to a little bit of peace in the end.

I Should Affix Googly Eyes to the Paperwork So I Can Say It's LITERALLY STARING AT ME

Life has been moving along at an alarming rate lately. I traveled Sunday through Tuesday, will travel again Saturday through Tuesday, and again the following Sunday through Friday. In the midst of it all, we've been approved by our first choice adoption agency, and much quicker than I thought, too. I figured it would take two weeks after they'd received our application, and then six days after I'd mailed it, our approval e-mail was there in my inbox. While this was much to my relief, at the same time, I now have a stack of paperwork sitting in front of me much sooner than anticipated--some of it literally right there, some on a list of additional paperwork to acquire--that I can't (and don't want to) ignore. So between travel and the paperwork, I won't have much time on my hands. I suppose this is why I find it perfectly acceptable that I haven't done much today aside from adoption paperwork and research.

Okay, okay, I also made some brownies. But that's kind of like breathing lately, so we can take that as a given part of my day, right?

I had every intention of working out, but I skipped it. If ever there was a time to give myself a break from workouts, now is it. Between working full time hours most week, traveling, doing my best to keep up with laundry and dishes (notice that I did not mention cooking--I've given up completely on that) and the aforementioned stack of paperwork, there's just not much time left. So I'm content with yoga once a week and two levels of 30 Day Shred once a week. I have a feeling there will be plenty of time for working out once the paperwork is in and I've returned to a part time work schedule, so I'll just save it for then. So far all my trousers still fit, and I don't feel extraordinarily ashamed when I put on a two piece bathing suit, so that's that. I've grown a lot lately when it comes to accepting my body and its natural shape, and as long as I avoid pop culture publications, I feel like I'm okay with the fact that the gift my ancestors gave me was the gift of sturdiness. There's nothing wrong with being thick like a tree trunk.

Well, unless it's from eating mostly brownies for meals, which...oh...whoops.

Survival, Branson Style

Three days, two nights, four kids, two adults, one hotel room. In Branson, Missouri.

The result? Absolute mayhem.



So we put 'em in jail.



What? They deserved it.

And besides, I totally let them have ice cream and funnel cakes for lunch that day. Don't tell their parents; usually I'm the Nutrition Police, and I need to uphold my reputation.

Next year we're getting an extra hotel room and bringing extra adults. It has been decreed, and therefore the chosen adults are not allowed to decline the invitation. See you next year, suckers.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I'm having to make some tough decisions about work right now. Nothing will go into effect until autumn, but I think that it's good that I know the plan so that the family it will affect most will have time to make alternate arrangements. It's hard for me to leave a family behind without having some external reason like moving or a major injury or something; I always feel like they neeeeed me and I should beeeeeee there for their chilllllllldren. But I suppose that in the end, the reason is external. I may not be injured, but there are certainly signs that my current level of exertion as it pertains to work is not doing me any favors. I am tired nearly all the time. I don't get to do a great many things I want to do, and when I do them, I often feel rushed. I feel like crying quite a bit simply because I am overwhelmed with things to do.

I've taken on more work lately for a couple of reasons: first, because I am good at what I do, and there are families that really value that, which always feels good, and second, because of financial concerns. The first reason is valid, but the second is poppycock. I see very little difference in our finances as a whole now that I am working a great deal more. Because for us, the fact is that we save a lot of money when I have more time. We eat out less, I go to Starbucks less, and I do less impulse spending.

I am happy with the decision I've made, but it will be hard to tell a family that I love very much that I won't be able to be their primary childcare provider anymore. I look forward, though, to being more involved in their lives in other ways. I also look forward to continuing to pursue my work in ways I feel are the best use of my abilities. It is good to do something well and to enjoy it, and I very much look forward to having that feeling back. Now, I'll just have to figure out what to do with all that time I was spending complaining about being tired and stressed and overwhelmed.

Perhaps I'll take more naps.

If Only

I wrote a whole different post, but what I really want to say is that I wish I were home more often. If I were home more often:

1. I would be generally calmer.

2. Also more well-rested.

3. The laundry would get folded and put away on the same day it was laundered. Also, dried on the same day it was washed! (I know, it would be like a miracle or something!)

4. I would go to Starbucks a lot less frequently.

5. The dishwasher would get unloaded on the same day it was run, not one or two or (cringing slightly) three days later.

6. I would cook dinner more than once a week.

7. The house would be much cleaner.

8. The piles of unopened mail would be opened, sorted, and put away. As it is, I triage. Are you a bill? I will open you! Not a bill? See you in six months or so!

9. I would not have just made another batch of brownies.

10. I would not be about to dig into those brownies, still hot and gooey, with a spoon.

Okay, so maybe I'm fibbing on 9 & 10. I deserve a little fibbing for all my hard work, right? Nod vigorously, please.

I Was Going to Wait, But I Hate Waiting

I also figure that we could use as many good thoughts, prayers, well-wishes, and crossed fingers as possible.

I am mailing our application to our agency of choice today.

The adoption blog is here.

I am feeling nervous about this whole process; this is because I have the tendency to jump to the worst possible conclusion before there's a reason to. I also like to worry about money as a hobby, so I'm starting in on that early. I wouldn't want to miss out on any worry that could come my way!

I will keep you updated both here and over at Finding Magnolia as things progress.

Good thoughts.

Good thoughts.

Good thoughts.

And maybe some deep breaths and a few brownies, too.