Friday, December 23, 2005

Just What You've Been Waiting For: The marymuses King Kong Review

I'll make this short, mostly because I'm tired and lazy.

Tonight Tim, Julianna, and I went to see King Kong. When we used the ticketing kiosks, in the bottom of mine was an abandoned ticket for Memoirs of a Geisha, and in the bottom of theirs was one for Munich. Perhaps we should have taken this as a sign that there are other films, quality films, no less, that are playing, and why mess with the blockbuster? However, we missed the sign, and King Kong, it was.

I think the most telling thing I could say to you is that I had two favorite parts during the movie:

1. The part where I was eating candy and not really paying attention.


2. The part where Julianna put her scarf over her eyes and I put my cardigan hood over my eyes and we started laughing.

The main issue I have with Peter Jackson, and I had it in the first Lord of the Rings, too, is that he enjoys chase scenes too much. Someone is always being chased, running pell-mell through some jungle/cave/field/river/underground labyrinth, and it lasts for. ev. er. Then when it's done, he lets his audience breathe for precisely 2.45879 seconds before beginning another chase scene. Because chase scenes are so exciting! And suspenseful! And crowd-pleasing! And...boring after awhile, once you get past the point where you feel like you might go right over the edge from the tension he builds up but doesn't relieve in a timely manner. To build up suspense throughout a film, thus leading to an impressive climax and resolution, is one thing, but to employ it over and over again when we all can guess (or already know) what is going to happen is simply a waste of time.

I will give props to Peter for an impressive cast and stunning visual effects. He is talented, for sure, and I don't want to imply otherwise. I'll subtract props, however, for the nightmares I'll be having thanks to the creepy people and the insect/arachnid/wormish life he indulged in so liberally between the chase scenes. (Couldn't someone have warned me about that? Or at least offered to sit guard by my bed while I sleep with all the lights on?) Overall, I'll give the movie an, "Um, Okay" and let the rest of you judge for yourselves. I won't be recommending it, but if you're a big Peter Jackson fan, I won't attempt to hinder you from attending.


Shepcat said...

OK, so between my earring and the indigenous bug life of Skull Island, that's twice this week that I've failed to prepare you for a surprise or shock of some kind. Until we're able to iron out the apparent communication glitches between our respective blogs, I offer the following pre-emptive revelations:

• Rosebud is the sled.
• Wild boar tastes more like beef than pork.
• Tyler is Jack's alter-ego, a figment of his imagination.
• Lefty loosey, righty tighty.
• If it tastes like butter, but it's not, it's Chiffon.
• The microfilm is inside the statue Vandam bought at the auction.
• Oswald never fired a shot in Dealey Plaza.
• The meaning of life is 42.

I hope this helps.

marymuses said...

See, I had no idea that wild boar tastes more like beef than pork. I do know that bat tastes like no other meat I've ever eaten, but is, in fact, quite tasty, once you get past the little rodent bones.

I also did not know the location of the microfilm except that maybe I did and I've forgotten? It's so hard to keep track of microfilm these days...

The rest, well: You should have told me sooner; I had to figure those out all by myself (such a pity). Still, I appreciate your efforts. Very kind of you, really. Is this just special holiday thoughtfulness, or can I expect it the whole year through?

Shepcat said...

This is the sort of 24/7/365 service you can expect from the Chronicles editorial staff. There is no off position on the useless-information switch.

Merry Christmas.

marymuses said...

Now that's what I call service. Useless information is my favorite kind of information, so there is never a need for an off switch.