Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Oh, Dear, I Think I'm Going to Be Busy Then

I don't care what your political leanings are; if you're arrogant, I'm not going to listen to a word you say. We may agree on some things and disagree on others and maybe both of us are capable of holding up our end of a discussion quite well. But if you take on that tone, you know, the one where everyone can tell that you think you know everything? I'm just not going to listen. Do you hear me? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY IF YOU CAN'T BE A LITTLE HUMBLE WHILE YOU'RE SAYING IT.

Right. So. The contractor who is working on the basement at work has been teasingly badgering me to listen to Bill O'Reilly.

Every day.

I've politely declined each time, but he thinks that it's just such an awesome joke, why doesn't he go for it again? (Um, I don't know, maybe because it annoys the crap out of me? And maybe because I recognize you're making assumptions about me and my political leanings which may or may not be true? Hmmm...) So you can feel my pain, I bring you (dun, dun, DUUUUUN) Today's Conversation with George.

George (looking at oven clock): Only an hour and a half!

Mary (glancing over from where I am feverishly preparing beanie weanies): What? Are you talking to me?

George: Oh, actually it's one hour and thirty-seven minutes. You don't have to miss it today.

Mary: Well, gosh, um, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be busy. See, I believe in sharpening my mind during my free time*, and so I have this book of sudoku puzzles with me. There are 576** of them, and I'm only on number ninety-three***, so I should probably work on that.

George: Oh. Well, you don't have to listen right then. You have satellite? Or cable television, right?

Mary: Actually, no. I don't have a television. I think it's better to use my free time to read or listen to good music or something else which will enhance my thinking skills.****

George: Oh. Wow. No television? You really ARE a Democrat.*****

Mary: I lay no claim to any political party, thank you very much.

George (exiting, because I have possibly rendered him speechless, hallelujah): Okay, well...have a good day then...

One of these days I'm going to kick that man in the shins.



*Please don't tell George I watch Dr. 90210.
**That may be a slight mistruth, as I don't know exactly how many puzzles are in the book.
***This also may be a slight mistruth. I might be on number ninety-four. I can't remember.
****Please also don't tell George that I ask my boyfriend to record America's Next Top Model and Grey's Anatomy for me.
*****I'm pretty sure I know a lot of Democrats who don't shy away from television. Any of you Democrats want to give me a hand with that one?

4 comments:

Shepcat said...

Allow me: I am a liberal/Democrat who watches more television than any three people (of any political affiliation) that you can name.

Also: you're a pretty tall girl, Mary. Are you sure you can't aim any higher than the shins?

Anonymous said...

can i just say that the footnotes on this entry were totally cracking me up? and no, your secrets are safe with me. george will know nothing!

i can't personally verify the tv thing, being a democrat and not owning one. however, my friend who is also a staunch dem owns two tvs, so that makes up for my lack thereof.

<3 holly

Shiz said...

Shep - hear! hear!

Mary, maybe it's time to tell him he's being obnoxious. Say it with me, "You know, you're being really obnoxious about this. I'd liek you to leave me alone."

marymuses said...

Shepcat, yes, I can aim higher than the shins, but what I'm thinking is: Maximum pain for him, minimum squick factor for me. Frankly, I don't want my shoe coming into contact with anything other than a shin or shin-like body part. Except maybe his head, but I don't think I'm flexible enough to kick that high.

Holly, I'm glad you'll keep my secrets. Also, nice work finding a friend to create balance with TV. I wonder if there are any Democrats who have three TVs???

Shiz, I don't like to talk to him unless I have to, even to tell him to get away from me. Mostly I ignore him and retreat to the office.