Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Yada. Yada, Blah-di-Blah

I'm just checking in because I feel I owe you an update on my life, and I'm assuming you want to read it. Also I'm about to set you free from your sorta embarassing problem, provided that your sorta embarassing problem is the same sorta embarassing problem as my former sorta embarassing problem.

But first I want to admit that I'm a lazyass who can't seem to reply to comments or return e-mails in a timely manner. I'm kind of sorry, but not sorry enough to get right on that or anything. I do want to say that I love, love, love it when you comment (and e-mail! This parenthetical note is for you, Tina.), so please keep doing it. Please. I beg. I don't reply to all the comments anymore, but I do beg. See this? I'm begging. I could spend the time I'm begging actually replying to your comments, but this takes fewer steps and mouse clicks. See? Am lazy. Terribly, terribly lazy. But still: I love you! And your comments!

Ooooookay, then.

This morning Mary Liz and I painted The Plaza red and then had lunch at my house. I decided that since I'm going out tonight and may or may not have awhile to get ready (I forgot to mention to the kids' mom this morning that I need to leave on time(ish) today), I should go ahead and put on clothes that I can wear on tonight's date. Which would be fine, except: Since when does a shirt of mine stay clean all day? At lunchtime I managed to get a perfectly straight line of grease across the middle of the shirt, presumably from balancing the container of leftovers against my torso whilst pulling additional foods from the fridge. I didn't check to see if it smelled like prosciutto stuffed chicken, but I'm fairly certain that's what it was. When I returned to the workstead, I did what any resourceful girl would do and doused it in Palmolive (Toughest on Grease! Mild on Hands), then rinsed that portion of the shirt out in the sink. While I was wearing it. So now I'm walking around with a huge wet spot in the middle of my shirt, and I'm not sure I got the grease out. However, if Palmolive lives up to their claims the grease should be obliterated and I'll be wearing a clean shirt that smells faintly of dish soap tonight. Foxy! I just hope I don't have to go anywhere before the sucker dries.

And really? There's nothing else to tell that will excite you, unless you have toenail fungus, in which case I urge you to try this as opposed to something (*cough*LamisilTablets*cough*) which may or may not destroy your liver and various other organs required for the normal functioning of your body in the process of destroying the nasty little dermatophytes which are causing the problem in the first place. I've been waiting for years to get a pedicure, and now I can finally get one, for the Funky Feet Essential Oil Blend, it has cured me. Hallelujah and tell them I sent you. Also, don't pay attention to the warning label on the bottle and think you can't just spread it right on top of the offending nails, because you totally can. I wouldn't recommend smearing it all over your body, but using a Q-tip to apply it to each individual nail is fine. Also also once a day is fine. Also also also I recommend putting it on in the evening after you've gone all the places you're going for the day because essential oils often have strong aromas and this blend will make you smell like you're a patchouli-wearing hippie who likes to cook with basil and thyme while baking cinnmon rolls. It's not entirely unpleasant, but it's not exactly a fitting fragrance for the office or a social function. Unless, of course, your office or social function is filled with patchouli-wearing hippies that enjoy cooking with basil and thyme whilst baking cinnamon rolls. In that case? Go right ahead and put it on before you leave the house. Enough said, right? (Or did I cross that line eight sentences ago?)

ANYway: Naptime fades, and so do I. Enjoy your Wednesday.

4 comments:

cara said...

from one comment lover to another...sorry not feeling particularily witty today. also? i think perhaps you lied about mint m&ms. i looked everywhere when i was home and i couldn't find any. or are they just a christmas thing? i did however find eastery peanut butter m&ms so all was not lost.

brookeraymond said...

thank you, mary, for sharing your embarassing problem as it is mine as well. i must try the funky feet essential oils. can you get it at whole foods or wild oats? e-mail me and let me know. you are not alone. :)

Tina said...

I am *SO* honored to be personally mentioned in the blog of marymuses. This may be part of my 15 minutes of fame. This and that time I went to the Oprah show and then scanned me a couple of times, brings me to about 14 minutes and 15 seconds left of fame in my life. I will use it wisely. And about the update, while I am pleased that you are now able to enjoy a pedicure, I was thinking the *DATE* would be covered in some depth. But I know you will. Eventually. I just must be patient. I must, I must. Happy dating. oh, and take an extra shirt with you on days that end with a date.

Shiz said...

Come on, Mary: extra shirt. You can do it!

Did the grease come out?

And Cara, I think it's a USA/Christmas thing. Drat. But maybe someone on the internet is selling them?