Wednesday, May 23, 2007

'Round These Parts We Like Some Jokin'

I just had to clear up with my mom that there is nothing wrong between Jarod and me; she read that last post, where I pretty much named applesauce as my runner-up spouse, and thought that all might not be well. In case any of the rest of you have brains that work like my mom's, I'd like to clarify that it's highly unlikely that Jarod won't show up for the wedding. "Who's applesauce?" she asked. Applesauce is applesauce. You know, the food? Which you can't actually marry, I don't think. It was a joke, see, with the laughing and the funny and the haha? For the record, though, I would like you to know that behind applesauce, agave nectar is waiting in the wings, and behind that, probably my pillow. I do love my pillow a great deal. I wonder if I could justify being a polygamist if all the things I'd like to marry are inanimate objects?

I have been eating a great deal of applesauce lately. It's the lazy girl's fruit choice. No peeling or cutting required--just grab a spoon! And while you're at it, use that same spoon to stir agave nectar into just about everything.

Which is my way of saying that I'm still doing that whole eating healthy thing, but I cheat more than one day a week. There is that one day that I set aside to be THE day for all things flour and sugar and fried-in-hot-oil related, but I am not going to lie and tell you that there aren't times that I don't allow a little leeway, particularly when Frank and I are both starving due to waiting an extra hour at the orthodontist's office, and the only parking space in White Plains is in front of an ice cream parlor. (True story! It happened to us!) (White Plains, by the way, is not on my list of things/places I'd marry if Jarod didn't show up. It's on the HATE list. Right above I-95, and that's pretty serious.) I do my best to eat the kind of meals recommended by the plan, but if a couple of times a week I end up eating something that is not one hundred percent completely healthily awesome, I'm not going to worry about it. I'd say I've made great strides just by eliminating "multiple Skor bars" off the meal options chart, wouldn't you?


Anonymous said...

Well, I have read the entry a couple of times now, and I guess my brain works like your mother's. When someone says that they are "NOT" kidding about something, I generally take them at face value. "Wishing I were kidding, but I'M NOT" Ummm... strange sense of humor??

marymuses said...

I'm not kidding about loving applesauce a lot is what I'm not kidding about. And I suppose I do have a strange sense of humor. But really, who could marry applesauce? No one, that's who. It's unmarryable. Except maybe in Arkansas. I've heard their laws are more lax when it comes to matrimonial restriction.

Julianna said...

Mary- wouldn't it be funny if you were Mary Sauce? Or Mary Nectar? I like your sense of humor!