Wednesday, August 22, 2007

We Should Have Gone to Vegas

That or Niagara Falls.

Weddings are HARRRRRRD. Just when you think you have all your ducks in a row, they start swimming in circles and plunging beneath the surface, possibly meeting their doom in the murky waters below. About that time, you begin to realize that, hey, these aren't really ducks. They're cats. And not the weird kind that like to swim and have been known to rescue humans, either.

I mistakenly thought that since I pretty much know what I want and started my planning before we were even engaged that things would fall into place and go pretty easily, but I am here tonight to tell you, that, oh, internet, I was wrong. Because to be right there would have to be no one on this earth except me and people who exist to do my bidding and agree wholeheartedly with everything I decide, and it seems that this is not the case. I mean, there are a lot of people doing my bidding, but...well. It also turns out that there are a lot of people with opinions and, oh, I don't know, lives of their own or something, who are not carrying on their existence for the sole purpose of making our wedding go off without a hitch. I KNOW. INJUSTICE! And to top it off, my skin hates me. It hates me in a deep, cystic acne, inflammatory way, which is exactly what I need two and and a half weeks before my wedding, don't you think?

On the upside, though, (the really huge! fantastic! amazing! upside!) I am home. I spent a few days here in Kansas City hanging with Jarod (as well as Jack and Mary Liz, serendipitously enough) before heading out to Colorado with my mom, where not only did I get to hang out in cooler weather, I also got to witness someone getting stitches in the Pikes Peak Marathon finish line tent. It pays to volunteer right next to the medical services area, especially when it's a fairly puke free race. (I did see one guy, the third place finisher, doubling over, and in an impressive display of speed and grace, a med volunteer managed to place a garbage bag beneath him in time to catch the offending substance.) I felt a little strange not seeing the summit this year, and also a little jealous when I saw the way cool jackets the finishers got, but ultimately I had to admit that there was just no way I could have done it. I wouldn't have trained properly, and then it would have been me on one of those cots in the med area, hooked up to an IV, waiting for an ambulance to take me away.

And now it's all wedding all the time. There will be a few Starbucks-soaked mornings, for sure, but for the most part I'll be working hard to get all those cats out of the pond and herded into kitty cat-shaped kitty tents, where they will be nice and cozy. I'll also be working hard not to be a total bridezilla, as there are so many people helping out and I would be the rudest person on the planet not to acknowledge and appreciate their contributions. To that end I am offering special Gold Star Awards to those persons who have gone above and beyond. The first two Mary muses Wedding Extravaganza Gold Star Award winners are the following fabulous people:

1. My fiance, who patiently puts up with a lot of crap and still wants to marry me anyway. He has listened to every little fear and nagging worry (not to mention plently of ridiculous complaints), has driven me all over the place so I can get what I need, and he didn't even bat an eyelash when he heard to total price of the skincare system I purchased today. (I personally had heart palpitations when the total was announced, but he was cool as a cucumber.) He's a good man, that's for sure.

2. My friend Nicole, who totally saved us from a cakeless wedding. Nicole is invaluable to me as a friend, and really deserves a big gold star every day of the week, but for this she deserves an extra super huge one. I am in awe of her quick thinking and resourcefulness, and I am indebted to her listening ear and encouraging spirit.

Congratulations, lucky winners. Now tally ho or sally forth or something. We've got a wedding to put on.


James E. Robinson, III said...

Mary, all you have to remember is that it is "i will", not "i do" and your wedding will be perfect. :-)

I pray all else goes well too.

holly said...

it's all going to come together and be fabulous. it's going to be wonderful, and you'll be with all your friends and family and with the man you love!

take a deep breath. it'll all work out.

i can't wait to see you! *hug*

amy said...

i hear niagara falls is lovely this time of year. ;) hang in there and welcome home, mary.

Shiz said...

Poor Mary. But you do have lovely friends. And it will be a lovely wedding. And? Breathe. And take a hot soak!