Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I'm Pretty Much Useless Now

A couple of weeks ago, thinking I'd be doing myself a favor, I sent decaf beans through the grocery grinder instead of my usual Caffeine Fest 2007 Blend. What I enjoy about coffee is the flavor and the heat, so I figured it was just as well that I took down the stimulant use a notch. The next day, I blithely scooped my new blend into my french press, thinking nothing of it, except perhaps to congratulate myself for being the picture of responsible citizenship. I proceeded to gulp it down and get on with my day. And so I did the same the next day and the day after that, until one day I realized that, hey, wait, I'm really not getting much done. Where once I was full of vim and vigor, ready to attack the next organizational chore, I found I was, well, lazy. I shuffled through the house at snail's pace. But still, I kept to my caffeine-less ways. Surely I will get used to this, I thought.

Hrm.

Ha.

Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle.

So a few days ago, spurred on by a great deal of internet research (an excellent activity for those who might otherwise simply shuffle around their homes) and wise counsel regarding relief from my acne, I decided to return to my blood-sugar regulating ways, which is to say that I decided to give up refined sugars and flours for every day of the week but one. I've now made it two starvation-filled days (I don't know if you remember the whining of last go-round's first three days, but this is much the same), free from caffeine and sugar. And good grief am I ever tired. This, in a nutshell, is my excuse for being lax at posting.

Well, that and I've been busy at Free Rice. My vocab level currently sits at a fairly impressive level for a coffee and sugar free existence. I wonder what would happen if I were to put a proper hazelnut iced mocha in my hot little hands?

Thursday, October 25, 2007

What the People Want

Put on your cat sweatshirts, kids, and get cozy. Here you go:

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

You Don't Really Want to Hear About It

I haven't really felt inclined to post lately because everything that's been happening has been the same old stuff, stuff I'm sure you don't really care about. Except that, according to my handy dandy map, people keep visiting, so I thought, "Hey, maybe they do want to hear about it!" That or you're back hoping for the video of my cat watching the video of my other cat, and if that's the case, well God bless you for being as ridiculous as I am. I'll get that video right to you as soon as my husband gets it off the video camera and up onto YouTube. You are at his mercy. Also, your cat sweatshirt is in the mail. Merry Christmas!

(Reasons why I cannot get it off the video camera and put it on YouTube myself include: being entirely too busy petting my cat and also not exactly knowing where that particular cable is, and not really wanting to figure it out either. I already had to redownload my printer drivers after Jarod fixed something on my computer, and please, people, that was taxing enough.)

Things that have been happening around here include organizing our crap, unpacking more boxes, adding turkey bacon to a great many dinners, and wishing the boxes would unpack themselves so that the car would fit in the garage again without me having to do any heavy lifting. Oh, and also I've been treating my acne (yes, still, I KNOW) and staring at my cats. Sounds exciting, doesn't it? Especially the part about the acne, yes?

Right now I'm guessing you wish you were me. It's okay; you're not alone.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Win-Win!

Hungry people get food, and you get a better vocabulary.

What are you waiting for? GO NOW!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The Truth is That I'm Just Very Boring

I could have posted many times over the past however-long-it's-been, but...I was busy. I should probably use a question mark with that. I was busy? Because honestly? What I've been doing at my computer, other than looking for cheap Avenue Q tickets and trying to find a miracle cure for stubborn cystic acne, is trolling the furniture section of Craigslist, laughing out loud at what people are trying to charge for their (sometimes very) used goods. I mean, $400 for your circa 1986 sofa and loveseat? What, do you think Isaac Mizrahi is shopping on Kansas City's Craigslist? (If you don't get what I mean about Isaac and 1986, please see Exhibit A, Exhibit B, and Exhibit C, or just head to his section of your local Target and feel all those glorious shoulder pads for yourself.)

But as much fun as that is, I did promise to prove just why we win at having the cutest cats. Please to enjoy Eponine chasing her tail.



The best part is at the end, when she lays down and gives us the owl ears, like, "What? I make my own fun, humans."

Up next: Phae watches the video of Eponine chasing her tail. The excitement around here just never ends.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

We Totally Win at Recycling

If you saw the pile of recyclable items on our curb tonight, you'd be in awe. Or, if you were getting ready to move, you'd be elated, as this is the BOX JACKPOT of ALL TIME. Come on over if you need to box anything up. We've got boxes for all your boxing needs.

...

I probably should have saved a few of the larger boxes, come to think of it, as Jack and Mary Liz have decided that our craptastic, unmowed back yard is a paradise, perfect for secret hideouts and yard to yard communication with neighborhood canines. They've moved the two plastic chairs that were sitting randomly near the house up into what they call The Secret Clubhouse, which is not really a secret so much as it is the space beneath a couple of redbud trees that are in dire need of a little pruning. It has been suggested that we need both a fort of some sort and also a tire swing in order to make it decent, but last I checked both kids seemed to be well-occupied with just those two plastic chairs and a bunch of sticks. I'm taking the lazy way out on this one and conveniently forgetting all about these requests.

...

Know what we also win at? Having the cutest cats ever. I have video to prove it, people. Expect it sometime very soon.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Clearly I Wasn't Cut Out for Do-It-Yourself Projects

This evening I attempted to put together one of those cheapy Target thirty dollar bookshelves, and I must say that I didn't do too badly so long as you don't count the part where I put a peg where it wasn't supposed to go and had to have Jarod get it out for me. Or also maybe the part where I didn't actually finish putting it together. I can't help that though; my toast was ready, and I think we all know that one cannot in good conscience eat cold toast. That would just be wrong.

I'm still doing my best to get our house together. A lot of people have inquired as to whether all my boxes are unpacked and I want to ask them if they're smoking crack, and, if so, if I might have some, as I've heard it helps things move along a little faster. The problem is not in unpacking my boxes so much as it is in clearing out everything that doesn't need to stay in this house and finding good spots for everything else. It would also help if we had some bookshelves for the many boxes of books, but some lazyass keeps procrastinating putting the bookshelves together in favor of activities such as eating toast while it's still hot. It will take awhile. By "awhile" I mean probably six months. I have to organize. I have to paint. I must decorate.

Plus, there is the matter of the job I have which pays real money. In order to get paid that money, I have to show up to do the job. Which I am very happy to do, by the way. I'm back with these beauties sixteen hours a week, and it's smooth as silk, such a relief after the long hours and extraordinary challenges of my job in Connecticut. I couldn't be more thrilled.

Well, unless someone came over and finished putting together all my bookshelves.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Random Notes

Dear Boden,

Please stop being absolutely everything I ever desired in a clothing vendor. You know I can't afford you. It would be much appreciated if you would cease and desist with the perfection already. It's that or have more sales and deeper discounts. Please choose, and please lean towards the second option.

Love,
Mary

...

Dear Time,

What happened? Where did you go? I had three hours to get things done, and now it's down to two. Take it easy, all right? Slow down. I can't keep up with you anymore.

Sincerely,
Mary

...

Dear Target,

I need red stickers on the following, and I'm talking 75% off red stickers, not that measly 30% off: sheets, lamps (only ones that go with my decor, please), non-plastic storage items, bookshelves, cat food.

With gratitude for your cooperation,
Mary

Monday, October 01, 2007

These New Jokes Will Never Get Old

Joke the First

I get a kick out of calling Jarod my cats' new dad. As in, "Eponine, aren't you so glad I found you such a good daddy?" or "I need to go switch out the laundry; how about you sit with your dad for a minute?" I know for a fact that this joke will not age (even like fine wine) because I have been using a similar joke about them being grand-kitties for years now, and still I never tire of sending my mom cards signed by the cats or asking her why she didn't get Phae a Christmas present.

Joke the Second

Not far from us there is a martial arts studio which often has a large sign out front advertising the availability of kung fu weapons. When we are driving by, I like to mention that we need to stop in on the way home, or to ask Jarod if he brought the list of weapons he needs, or to complain, if they are closed when we are passing, that I never remember to stop there when they're open, and here I am needing some nunchucks and having to do without.

Either I am terribly clever or undeniably lame.