Friday, January 23, 2009

The Usual Disjointedness

It's getting to be that time of winter that I start getting tired of being cold. Up until now, it's been inconvenient, but bearable, and the coziness beneath the down blanket on the sofa can't be matched. But today as flurries flew, it just seemed old. The first flurries seem magical, but this was not at all so.

Perhaps it has something to do with the unfinished nature of our exterior paint job. This house has such potential to be adorable, and here it is an eyesore, two thirds painted on the front, with a busted storm door and a crooked bird bath to add to the charm. Now that there are no holiday gatherings to rush off to, no gift-buying to attend to, no extra food to make for three out of seven nights of the week, I'm starting to notice all the things that need to be done around here. While I've gotten busy on some of the projects, there are a great many that I cannot do myself or cannot do in this weather. I grow impatient.

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One thing I'm not impatient with is the 30 Day Shred, though I'm certain that if Jillian Michaels were in my living room, she might be a bit impatient with me. Turns out that Level 2 is kind of an ass kicker, and I've yet to finish it without cheating a few times. Jillian says to keep my arms up the entire time, and I let them drop at least thrice. She tells me to keep my body straight in those plank jacks, and I start to collapse halfway through. This is probably due in part to my refusal to do the modified moves. At the beginning she says that bad asses should follow Natalie, and I want to be a bad ass. So I follow Natalie. Except that Natalie doesn't look like she might keel over halfway through the squat thrusts.

On the upside, I have abs! Who knew? This development has made me a little nuts. I keep walking up to Jarod while he's busy with computer something-or-other and going, "Feel my abs right here, like on the side!" And I won't take no for an answer. I know it's every man's dream to touch a woman's hot bod, but I really don't think obliques are what most men have in mind.

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Speaking of obliques, have you seen Kate Winslet's? Post Titanic, I mean? You have if you've seen The Reader, along with a great many other of her parts. Frankly, I was not bothered by it except that we had invited friends to come along, and wondered partway through if I should have warned them that I had invited them to view soft porn. She didn't stay naked for the duration of the film, however, so by the time all was said and done and the credits rolled, I didn't feel so awkward about it. And frankly, if there's going to be a woman's body shown in all its glory on screen, I much prefer it be a figure like Kate's. One thing I have always liked about her is that she has a realistic body that comes from her very realistic lifestyle. I recently read about the diet secrets of the stars in one of my favorite trashy magazines, and I'm sorry, but two hour workouts six days a week aren't possible for most people, nor is putting down the fork after only two bites of cake. Kate Winslet is simply stunning without resorting to any of that nonsense, and I love her for it. I love that her talent carries her, not an abnormally tiny frame. I expressed to Jarod in the car that I simply love her, and he disclosed that he really doesn't get what people see in her beauty-wise. Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you WHO DID I MARRY? He likes Gwyneth Paltrow and Jessica Alba. Unfortunately for him, if he wants to see a body like those around here, he's going to have to pry the cake fork out of my hands.

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On the topic of Kate Winslet, do you remember way back when I saw her and Leonardo DiCaprio filming part of Revolutionary Road in Connecticut? It's out now, and one of the shots I saw, of Kate looking pained in the upstairs window, is featured prominently in one of the trailers. Every time I see it, I get all excited and want to yell to someone, "I was there! HEY! HEY! I WAS TOTALLY THERE WHEN THEY FILMED THAT!" But that's, um, kind of obnoxious. So go see the movie, and when that part comes up, just do your best to get a little excited that I was there when they filmed that. I have yet to see it, but I won't miss seeing it on the big screen, if only to see how something that looked so tedious and painstaking comes off on film. I do hope they left the part in where Leo is digging in the front yard since it was the magic of me putting away my paparazzi-esque camera that helped him focus.

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It may be your weekend, but I've got another day of work ahead. Carry on with your carrying on, and I'll carry on with my trek in the direction of my pillow.

2 comments:

Nico said...

Mary, I have some one who needs a nanny. Can you send me your contact info?

NicholasSegura@mac.com ...or you can find me on iChat under the same name.

k-stin said...

I agree with you on the real woman part. Someone's gonna have to pry the Girl Scout cookies out of MY hands!

I just finished reading Revolutionary Road and watched some of the clips. That's funny that you got a sneak peek on those scenes! Maybe you will be in the background.