Saturday, February 28, 2009

I Write This Having Just Consumed Two Delicious Cookies

I've been thinking a lot about body image lately, mostly because I have a body and there are mirrors in many of the places I go. At home we only have the bathroom medicine cabinet mirror, and so I am sometimes surprised by what I see when I glimpse myself top to toes. What's become incredibly interesting to me lately is that mirrors in places where you're most likely to catch sight of yourself unclothed--that is, in fitting rooms--the lighting is generally terrible. If you didn't feel terrible about those extra winter pounds before you went in, you most likely will before you can manage to get your own comfortable jeans back on. At least, such was my experience in TJ Maxx today. It was a little demoralizing.

But also, it was good for me.

For the past few months, I've been a little nutritionally bankrupt. Sure, I cook healthy dinners, and I don't buy a bunch of processed crap (except M&M's, which...um...I have no excuse), but I also don't eat well during the day. Cupcakes are cupcakes, regardless of whether you made them yourself with whole wheat pastry flour or not. They're a dessert, not a meal. Yet I've been treating all sorts of treats as if they were meals, and not just sometimes. I get hungry at odd times, ravenously hungry, even, and I am often someplace where there aren't healthy options at my fingertips. I've been working out hard, but I've been ruining it for myself. Despite the lack of glaring trouble spots, there's still a huge trouble spot I'm sporting, and it's my attitude toward caring for my body by feeding it well.

Back in the spring of 2007, I was waking up hungry in the middle of the night, and I recognized that I needed to do something about that. I set about finding a plan to stabilize my blood sugar, and it worked well. I followed it strictly for the first few weeks, then made adjustments to make it fit my life a little better. I'm going to start doing that again. If, at the end of three weeks, the florescent lights of a fitting room still tell me the same story they told me today, then I'll accept that this is the body I've been given, and I'll learn to appreciate the amazing things it does for me every day. I hope that my body will look more like I know how to take care of it and less like I've packed firm muscles under a layer of marshmallow fluff, but either way, this was just the kick in the posterior that I needed.

1 comment:

k-stin said...

After reading your post a few weeks ago, I started the 30 Day Shred tonight!

I think Fitting Rooms are from the devil! I rarely come out of one feeling the same as when I went in! It's kind of similar to whenever I fly somewhere I always buy beauty magazines and find myself squeezing my thighs together and sucking in my stomach on the trip!