Monday, April 27, 2009

Quick Question

Okay, Biggest Loser viewers, I must know: Jillian or Bob?

Otherwise known as: butt-kickin' or hugs?

I'll take the butt-kickin'. I get plenty of hugs already.

(I'm asking you partly because I want to know and partly because my nephew couldn't answer me because he was too busy giggling like a little girl. It's an easy question, kid. Butt-kickin' or hugs? Kids today, GEEZ.)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Gardening for Lazyasses

Last year when we put in our garden, we were more on top of things. I suppose part of this is because I had more time and also because Jarod was interested in helping as well. (This year I'm working more, and Jarod has yet to express an interest in anything beyond listening to me blather on about the cinder blocks in the yard.) So we had a nice, initially weed-free plot where we planted straight rows of things, some of which did okay and some of which were eaten by mystery pests and died an unimpressive death. I ended up with a decent amount of tiny onions, some potatoes, a few carrots, and a paltry amount of peas. It wasn't much for the amount of work we did.

This year I decided I hate weeding, that rows don't need to be straight, and that if things are planted late, then oh, well. So far I've planted peas, potatoes, carrots, and mixed gourmet lettuces. Those last two I planted today, which you may note is well beyond the "before the last frost" recommendation for both plants. I also dug up a bit more of the plot next to the back door, but stopped when I felt like it. Some may say "no pain, no gain," but I say, "I'm not so sure about that; get back to me at harvest time."

I'll keep you posted on what grows and what is a miserable failure.

Monday, April 20, 2009

As Random As Usual

1. I thought it was the cutest thing ever when Mary Liz described her love for corn dogs, but it turns out it's even cuter that she decided to name her new pet toad (which she thinks is a bullfrog) Freckles. Freckles hops a lot and eats mealworms because the pet store was out of crickets.

2. I've been cranking out a lot of baked goods lately. Next time I pop into the Apple store, I expect to see some expanded waistlines, as I keep sending the leftovers to work with Jarod. Sorry you had to buy bigger pants, everybody.

3. I visited Old Lady Mary today and brought her socks and cheese bear claw danishes. She felt bad that she didn't have anything for me, so she gave me a Walgreen's sales circular with a coupon missing and a half-melted, broken, little candy bar. I think this may tie with Mary Liz and her toad for cutest thing ever.

4. I don't get the tea party thing. Sorry, tea party people. I understand the bit where you don't want more taxes, but didn't most of y'all just get a tax cut? And also, didn't you have to pay taxes on those tea bags you brought for the party? Or did you shoplift, leaving the money for the price of the tea but not the tax? I'm confused.

5. Do any of you bury large chunks of cinder blocks in your garden? If so, why? I only ask because I dug some up in the flower bed next to our back door, and I am more baffled by this than by any of the other oddities we've encountered while doing home improvement. Please share any theories you may have, conspiracy or otherwise.

Monday, April 13, 2009

I Hate You, April 2009

I keep saying this thing that I don't really believe, which is that I am fatter in the cold weather because my body wants the extra pounds to help keep it warm. What I really believe is that if I just tried harder and had more willpower, I would be perfectly svelte all year long. The problem is that when I am cold, I have no motivation to try harder or to engage in any pursuit that requires either will or power. What I want is to sit on the sofa, curled up with a few cats and a giant bag of M&M's, or perhaps finer chocolates if the budget allows. And maybe a nice hot mocha. For dinner, I would have a cream-based soup which would also include cheese. If there would be a side of crusty bread with a generous dollop of butter offered, I would accept it with glee. And then I would be happy. Also probably chubby, which brings me to the original point. If only I had willpower! I would eat salads in the cold! I would skip dessert! I wouldn't care a whit for butter! And working out would be my joy and pleasure!

But have you seen me working out lately? My face during my workout is the bershon of adulthood, so totally over it. Working out is lame.

This April weather in the forties can suck it. First, though, I'd like it to pass the M&M's.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Good, Bad, Ugly

The good news is that I am still alive and able to do laundry. Dishes, too!

The bad news is that I am behind on both, and the cats refuse to do chores. Still.

The ugly news is, well, just don't look at our floors, okay? Ditto that on the shower.

Well, unless you're planning on cleaning the joint.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Is It Ready Yet? How About Now? What About Now? Now?

I suppose there are worse reasons to be up late than the one I've got. I've certainly used plenty, most recently that I was up late reading Twilight and then, the next night, New Moon. I have moved on to Eclipse, but that is not keeping me up tonight. What's keeping me up is frosting.

While I'm doing better minimizing food waste when it comes to the meals just Jarod and I eat, the party we had threw me off my game. Not only did we do much of the shopping at Costco, where, if you need a bit more than one enormous package, you have to buy a whole other enormous package, but I also inherited the Oh Dear What If There's Not Enough Food gene, possibly from both sides of the family. We bought enough to feed a small army, though we were feeding something more akin to a water polo team whose members are all watching their figures. Since then we have had a fridge stuffed to the gills with food, food, and more food, and I have been doing my best to use it up. Jarod's done an admirable job with much of the deli meat, while I have been throwing things into new recipes and improvised casserole(ish) dishes for a solid week. As of this evening, we've got a bag of baby carrots, half an onion, and a big bowl of frosting left over. The carrots and partial onion are easy to incorporate into any number of dishes, while the frosting, simply must go on cupcakes.

The cupcakes are baked already; that's a cinch. The part I didn't consider was that an enormous bowl of frosting (because of course I made entirely too much of that, too), would take quite some time to come to room temperature. We're going on three hours and half of it is still to firm too spread without destroying the cupcake tops.

I'm beginning to understand now why people are unwilling to give up their tubs of store-bought frosting despite the questionable ingredient list; they simply want to get some sleep.