Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Hit Refresh

vacation shoes, kitty paw

When we pulled up to the house tonight, I let out a little cry: SHOES! Leave it to me to be worried about whether the shoes I'd ordered would show up before vacation. It's not like I couldn't just pack an alternate or something. But these were the shoes that I'd pictured myself in with the sneaker-appropriate outfits I'd packed--it just wouldn't be the same in my old Vans, and the Campers have seen enough of Europe to satisfy them for at least another year. So there they were, and they fit, and now I am breaking them in. It wouldn't do to be cursing my new footwear while on vacation.

I have so many grand expectations for this trip, but not of the sort you might imagine. Mine are limited to sleeping in and eating gelato and walking through Old Town over and over again. And being refreshed. I suppose there could be some unforeseen tragedy looming, but I'm fairly certain that these are all easily reachable goals. I set the bar low so as not to disappoint, so as to come back from vacation not needing a vacation in order to recover from vacation.

Because let's face it; these past few months I've kind of sucked at a lot of things. I've sucked at keeping up with friends, I've sucked at keeping up with my garden, I've sucked at making dinner for myself and the guy who is not satisfied just eating snacks instead of meals. And this week I'm starting to kind of suck at my job. It's not that I'm neglecting the children or causing harm, I'm just not at the top of my game. My energy is low, my level of direction interaction is suffering, and I find that I'm showing up at work with a sigh and resolve to make it through to the end instead of being excited to see my little people. So it's good that tomorrow is my last day before vacation. I know that in many jobs it's possible to half ass it and feel okay about it, but I don't like that feeling, knowing that what I do affects little people. And though I know that a couple of days of the sitter not being as fun as usual won't hurt them, I look forward to coming back and really enjoying my job and having my job really enjoy me back. To go away and come back with a bit more spring in my sneaker-clad step is just what will do the trick.

I'm certain of it.

1 comment:

daysgoby said...

Those are funky...and WONDERFUL.

Enjoy your trip!