Friday, January 29, 2010

My New Career

Every time someone mentions how afraid they are of snakes, I think about how I really should start my snake removal business. I'm not so crazy about snakes myself, but after finding eleven of them in my house and having to remove most of them myself, taking them out is pretty much old hat. (Would you leave a snake in your house until your husband/significant other/kind neighbor could come remove it for you hours later? I don't think you would; I think you would handle it and possibly even bring one in a plastic bag into the bathroom where your husband is showering and ask him if he'd like to have it.) I would only work in non-poisonous snake varieties, of course, and the pricing would be as follows:

Snakes requiring small dustpan: $50
Snakes requiring large dustpan: $75
Snakes requiring pitchfork with extra long handle: $150

I think that's fair. I mean, I would be coming to you. I need to make it worth my while. Also, having not had to use anything larger than a rake, I'd have to buy the pitchfork on the way over, so, you know. Call me if you have snake removal needs.


Anonymous said...

Did you really take a snake into the bathroom for your husband to see????? If so, Jarod deserves a medal, or at least a yummy dessert!!

marymuses said...

Wait a second...I'm confused. I took the snake(s) out myself, but my husband deserves the medal and the yummy desserts??

I believe you meant, "I can't believe your husband wouldn't rush through his shower in order to take care of this snake problem for you! You deserve a medal, a trophy, and a night out eating lots of chocolate desserts!"

Tim Samoff said...

Tim says he would like to start a snack removal service!

marymuses said...

I believe Tim would excel at that, and he really should start his business while people are still in New Year's Resolution mode and think they want to diet. There's only one day left in January--he'd better hurry!