Thursday, March 11, 2010

Late Night Wishes

We received some interesting information from our adoption agency today, and by "interesting," I mean "perplexing enough to keep me up at night." Oh, hi, it's 1:20am, and I am not the least bit sleepy. The news is that, effective today (er, yesterday), adoptive parents are now required to be present at the court hearing in Ethiopia for the adoption of their children. Before this news, our power of attorney would have represented us in court, and we would have shown up only for our embassy appointment. Our daughter would be legally ours before we ever met her. But with these new requirements, one or both of us (we're not sure, frankly) will need to travel two times to adopt our daughter. The first time will be to appear in court, and the second time will be to appear at the U.S. Embassy to receive approval to bring our daughter home to the United States. I'm trying to accentuate the positive in this situation, recognizing that two trips to Ethiopia will allow us to see and experience more of our daughter's country and culture of origin, but it also presents significant obstacles. On the practical side, there's the expense of two separate trips to account for. On the emotional side, there's the prospect of meeting our daughter and having to leave her in Ethiopia for a time until our embassy appointment is arranged.

I don't think I can do that second part. The plane ticket expense? Fine. Done. We will sell our kidneys if we have to. But the second part, the part where we see her and hold her and look into her eyes and know who she is, only to leave...well. I don't think I can do it.

I don't want to do it.

And so I have this wild and crazy idea that maybe I could just stay in Ethiopia between the two trips. Judging from other adoptive families' timelines, there's usually about a month in between. I want to stay in Ethiopia for that month.

I don't know how to make that happen, and putting it out there for everyone to read makes it seem a little far-fetched. I'm not even sure if we could receive the OK from our agency to do this. This is all new, so there are a lot of questions that cannot be answered at this time, and protocol for this simply does not exist. But one thing I took away from Mondo Beyondo is that it is good to say our dreams out loud. So here it is, internet:

My dream is to stay with our daughter in Ethiopia once she is legally ours, to mother her until we can bring her home.

That is all.

Okay, well, except also I kind of hope that she's a petite little introvert. Don't worry, though; we'll still love her if she's a gigantic extrovert. We'll love her lots and lots and lots. We'll love her to the end of the universe and back. It will be no trouble. No trouble at all.


white girl said...

Let me know if staying in Ethiopia for a month is a possibility. I might be able to help you out with accomodation.

marymuses said...

We are still waiting to see how this two trip deal pans out for other families, but in my mind and heart, staying in Ethiopia is definitely a possibility. I want to be very careful with how we broach the subject with our agency, but once we have the okay and feel like our finances can handle it, I will be in touch. Thank you!