Friday, August 13, 2010

This Tuesday with Old Lady Mary

It's hot, isn't it? I would rather not be wearing clothes, but this isn't the Garden of Eden or a beach on the Riviera, so I just put on something that's as light as possible. I'm pretty sure Old Lady Mary thinks I'm a hussy. A fashionable hussy, but still. Click on the photo to read the details.

tuesday, august 10, 2010

Also, do you like how my bangs are saying, "Triiiiimmmmmm meeeeeeee"? Today they are saying, "I am in shock because you had me trimmed, and now I will look like straw."

I guess with bangs, you just can't win.

I am suffering in the heat. Not in a way that is anything other than a spoiled brat child of air conditioning way, but I am uncomfortable. My mom told me that she's reading a book about how bad air conditioning is and how we can learn to deal with the heat, and I said that I'd like to deal with it by moving somewhere that doesn't have ridiculous summers. Why did my ancestors settle here, anyway? We are a northern European people, and our genes dictate that we do not do well in heat. My ancestors weren't very bright. But I guess the land was cheap, and they were all farmers, so fine. You win, ancestors. Also, I'm moving. Take that, stubborn Germans. I'm going to go somewhere that doesn't have good sauerkraut, and you'll all turn in your graves.

For now, though, since we do own a home here and we do need to get some things done (like bringing home a daughter) before we entertain serious thoughts of elsewhere, I'm hanging out in the house in front of the air conditioning register and not wearing pants.* We try to do the kind thing and keep the thermostat higher than most Americans would consider reasonable, so this is all I can do to feel like I won't fall over dead. I think we can all agree that pants are unnecessary, and falling over dead wouldn't do either.

Of course it was on this day that our car was in the shop for repair, and I had a hair appointment across town. I figured it would be no big deal to ride my bike to the bus stop. After all, it's only a mile away. I failed to take into account that the route from here to there is uphill, and I also failed to notice that my bike tires were a bit low. Do you know how to get a more intense workout on your bicycle? Ride it with the tires a little low. Unfortunately, I wasn't looking for a more intense workout. Or any kind of workout. I was looking to make it to the bus stop without having coffee first. It was uncomfortable. I lived. And then I was early for my hair appointment, so I got a coffee and life was good again.

The end.

Except not really, because I still had to get home. You'll be happy to know that I did not pass out before I wheeled my bicycle up the driveway. You'll also be happy to know that I showered, quickly, in water that was cold and made me feel like I could live again, if only until I stepped into the outdoor oven one more time. It's a miracle.

*I'm wearing a skirt, if you must know. Stop imagining me in my underwear. You don't know what kind I wear anyway, so you're probably imagining it all wrong.

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

I love you. You crack me up. I love the way you write.