Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Do I Look Thirty-Five to You?

two headbands are better than one

You can say no if you want to.

Yesterday was my birthday, and it was really good, mostly because I am so happy with life right now. I mean, sure, I still did dishes on my birthday, and when I rocked Zinashi to sleep, she tried to lick me to keep herself awake (brilliant move, but I only laugh the first time, little lady), but those things are good, too.

Not that I wouldn't accept a year's worth of maid services in honor of making it halfway to seventy, but I'm just saying: life is good, dishes and all. We're still working out the kinks of day to day life. I never get everything done in a day that I'd like to get done, but I'm making my peace with that, just like I'm making my peace with some other things about life that simply are what they are right now. A month in Ethiopia taught me a few things about what things are really important, and a perfectly clean house and perfectly svelte figure aren't among them. I'd say that loving others well, being generous, and taking the focus off myself and my own preoccupation with the perfect house/figure/life are the main lessons there. It's hard to love others well and be generous if all my time is spent scrutinizing my figure and making sure my house looks like Martha Stewart's staff has dropped by for a few weeks of intense labor, and all my money is spent on products to make myself or my child or my home look better. It is hard to get away from that mindset--it is so very, very American these days--but I'm working on it. I suppose that's what I want for age thirty-five--just to get better at knowing what is worthwhile and what is petty and not worth my time. While I'm getting there, I plan to enjoy the ride.

3 comments:

Liz said...

Happy birthday Mary! May you have many, many more - and may they just keep getting better and better!

PS - I signed up for the January Mondo Beyondo course, thanks for inspiring me to do it!

Jennifer said...

Oh Mary Christmas! Happy Birthday!

I am SO getting what you are talking about here. It has been "on my heart" (excuse the Christianese) to keep crucifying the vanity and materialism for a few years now, but man. It has been a struggle! I still suck totally. It is SO entrenched.
I esp love when I see CHristian leaders talking about how they have no other identity/self-image/identification but in Christ - but LOOK at them!! Totally metrosexual... which is fine - but don't tell me you give 'no thought to what you will wear'... cause you clearly did! And you are clearly making an effort of time and expenses to associate with a particular image/subculture.
I do that, but I KNOW I do!! and am wanting to move in the direction of emptying myself of me, so it can be filled with Him. It is a journey! It probably doesn't have to be as long and drawn out as I make it, with my timid lack of courage and boldness to just DO it... but for now, it's baby steps, Baby!

Keep fighting the good fight, Mary, my love! The fact that you see it and are fighting to swim upstream shows divine life & hope. I now believe that it's when you give up that you lose. It doesn't necessarily hang on how much *actual* ground is gained - but that you went down swinging and that you were never satisfied, nor made your peace with sin.

white girl said...

Happy birthday, Mary! I hope it was a wonderful day filled with cake and chocolate and all things sweet - like kisses and hugs from your sweet girl.