Thursday, December 30, 2010

Setting My Intentions

The past eighteen months have been both exciting and draining for me, and I feel in retrospect as if my life were steered almost exclusively by making Zinashi's adoption a reality. I think we could easily refer to 2010 as The Year of Zinashi, and call that good. Because it is and was and will be. In 2011, I want to focus on enjoying the family we have created, while at the same time recognizing in the back of my mind that there is someone else for whom to prepare. Some of it is out of my hands; much of it is within my reach, at least in terms of practicalities.

One gift that spending a month in Ethiopia gave me is that I recognize how much I have materially. And while I have still gone out and gotten some clothes that I really didn't need, my lust for stuff has been tempered somewhat. But it's hard in our culture to just cut out something that every woman supposedly loves to do. Still, I'm going to try it. For 2011, I will not be purchasing any new clothes or shoes. I want to recognize that I have not only enough, but more than enough. I want to let go of the feeling that newer is better and that some certain item will make me more attractive/desirable/happy. And I want to save some money so that when we're ready in our hearts for The Year of Evelina*, we'll be ready financially.

Doing this alone will not make a huge financial difference--it's not like I'm going on shopping sprees on a regular basis or something--but I find that when I get something in order in one area of my life, other changes often follow. I'm open to whatever comes up. It's going to be a good year. A very, very good year.

*Yes, I already chosen a name for our next child. I'm ridiculous. I know that already.

Friday, December 24, 2010

It's a Gift...or Maybe a Burden

If Bill O'Reilly is right, and God helps those who help themselves, then God will not be helping me at all.

holiday attire

Because I can't help myself. They really shouldn't make children's shirts large enough to fit grown women.

Merry Christmas, everyone. May your holiday be full of sparkle!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Neglectful

It's true, I have been neglecting this blog. It's because I've found a new blog, and it's taking up more of my time. I'm sorry. Kind of. I think most of you are reading over there anyway, right? RIGHT? But still, I should keep this up, if for no other reason than the fact that Zinashi will someday grow up and go to college, and I'll still need a place for myself on the internet. So let's catch up, shall we?

First of all, I have not provided Tuesdays with Old Lady Mary photos for the past two Tuesdays. Here they are:

tuesday, december 7, 2010
Tuesday, December 7

tuesday, december 14, 2010
Tuesday, December 14

As always, click on the photo for more details on the outfits and OLM's reactions.

And now, the long-awaited update, brought to you by the fact that I'm a delicate little introverted flower. I sent Jarod off to church with Zinashi this morning and stayed home, mostly because the thought of having to get out of my house and see a lot of people made me want to cry. Scratch that--not want to cry, I did cry. Just a little bit, but still. STILL. I have written about figuring out motherhood as in introvert on our adoption blog here, here, and here. One thing I didn't think about until last night, when Zinashi and I went to the first big holiday gathering of the year, was how much more stressful the holidays would be for me, even with (somewhat) fewer gatherings to attend. I think the stress was compounded by Jarod working three late evenings this week, plus the fact that we now have three different gathering to attend this weekend, and I'm flying solo for two of them (last night's being the first). So. Deep breaths. I can do this. People do harder things than this all the time without crying, so I don't need to have a pity party. I'm just going to sit here and drink my Ethiopian coffee for a few minutes and then have a lovely shower and get my house in order. Because of course that bothers me, too. Let's throw another log on my stressed out fire! Hooray!

No, but really, I'm going to be fine. I am fine. I love mothering my daughter, and the rest of it just needs to be figured out and settled into. I'm getting there; I'm just not there yet. But I've got time. I've got lots and lots of time. Two hours alone this morning, in fact. Thank heaven and my longsuffering husband.

Merry Christmas.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Saturday Confessional

Sometimes when I buy chocolate as a gift for someone else, I have to go back and buy more because I eat what I bought. Such is the case today, but hey--I cleaned up pee and did pee laundry and PEE PEE PEE PEE PEE, an entire lake of pee beneath my toddler.

Also, I sometimes make my child a meal made up entirely of colorless foods.

mami, why is this lunch all beige?

While she is peeing on the floor.

Yes, that happened. Halfway through cutting up the banana, a little voice called out, "Mami! Shint-y dee schmetti!" ("Pee is coming," in sort-of-Amharic.) But pee wasn't coming, it had already arrived, down her legs, onto her socks, into her brand new shoes, into a giant puddle beneath her. You'd have thought she was a Great Dane or something.

So we changed everything she was wearing, and I mopped up the giant puddle, and when she was asleep, I started the pee laundry.

That's why I'm eating this Chocolove bar that I bought as a stocking stuffer for someone else. I think I earned it.

I'll get another one tomorrow.

And I'll try not to eat that one, too.

Because WOW these are good.

PS: Chocolove people, I will gladly be your spokesmodel if you'll provide me with a lifetime supply of these delicious chocolate bars.

PPS: And also maybe bigger pants.

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Life Right Now: A Vignette

After her nap, my daughter asks to change her clothes, and I say sure. She chooses a shirt because it has pockets, and she loves pockets. I do not check the size, pulling it over her head before I realize it's too small.

How do you say "high water" as it applies to shirts?

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

This Tuesday With Old Lady Mary

The following photo illustrates A) how adorable my daughter is every single moment of the day, and B) what your hair will look like if you sleep on it wet and don't move all night, then attack it with a flatiron. Yes, the flatiron won't help me now. It's all over.

tuesday, november 30, 2010

As usual, click on the pic for more details of this Tuesday's outfits and OLM's reactions.

I wore that skirt all day, even though it's a touch uncomfortable while sitting. I guess it kept me from sitting. Also keeping me from sitting: laundry, dishes, general housewifery. Not that I'd ever seriously refer to myself as a housewife. Sure, I'm a wife, and I am the one who takes care of our house, but there's a lot more to what I do than just housework.

For example, I also like to daydream about basement shelving.

Oh, wait. Crap. Now I'm a stereotype.

Seriously, though, I never feel like the word housewife sounds like me. Taking care of our house and our daughter is very much a creative pursuit for me, and I would hardly relegate it to just the humdrum of life. (Not that there's not plenty of humdrum in there, but isn't that true of everyone's life and work?) It's satisfying to me. I like it. And that's good enough, is it not? I'm pretty sure that it is.