Sunday, May 15, 2011


Today at the mall I felt suddenly and inexplicably sad. Deeply, like someone had come in and placed the saddest, hardest bit of information inside my heart and said, "There. How's that?" But there was no reason. I was drinking an iced mocha and trying on shoes I wouldn't be buying. So I thought a lot about it and the conclusion I came to was that there is no conclusion. The last time I felt like this was when we were in the middle of Zinashi's adoption, before we'd seen her picture. Which is very strange because A) we are not in the middle of a second adoption, and B) we are not in the middle of a second adoption.

So. That's that.

On the home front, Zinashi has been having a hard time. Sleep regression, a little bit weepy, no definite reason except, you know, that she saw someone die and then her other someone had to leave her with strangers. People keep minimizing that, and saying that she's not sleeping because she doesn't want to miss anything, and I want to go, "Really?" Because I just can't get why anyone would minimize events so huge and terrifying. My baby, who was for all intents and purposes just a baby, yet old enough to be acutely aware of what was happening, went through a series of events that were traumatic to say the least. WTF, people? Can you not just allow that this might have lasting effects on her? That she isn't just like your ADHD neighbor's kid? Jeez Louise. Use a little common sense.

I really have nothing much else to say. Life rolls on. We're busy. We love our daughter. We feel like we're just waiting on a lot of things, so it leaves little to share in the way of news. But, you know, I do like these shoes. That I can tell you. Too bad it's not news.


Liz said...

Maybe you're sad because you're not in the middle of a second adoption?

On the regression topic, can you think of any significant event that might have happened in Ethiopia at this time of year? Elfe had a major regression in January, which I thought at first was post-holiday-stress-related...but when it went on well past the holidays, I had a hunch and looked at her paperwork - January is when her significant someone died. Things were also difficult for us just past the six-month-home mark, which coincided with a move to a new classroom at pre-school so that was some of it...but she also spent just a little less than 6 months in care centers before I came and she left Ethiopia, so my theory is she got nervous that it was time for her to move again.

I hope whatever the cause of the regression, you all get through it soon...

Crosby Kenyon said...

I don't think she'll ever "get over" it. All you can do is be there for her. It's why you took her in the first place. I'm glad you didn't buy those shoes.