Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The New Baseline

So I'm still working on my return to running. I started with a two mile out-and-back, moved up to three, and have progressed to four. I can run 3.5 miles without a problem and expect to do even better than that tomorrow night. I'm beginning to suspect that I could run a bit every day without the break day in between, but I don't want to push it. I want to slowly, steadily move forward. My goal as a baseline for usual mileage is five miles. Oh, and maybe working up to a ten mile run on a weekend morning. But I hate to say that last part out loud because what if it never happens? So I won't say anything if you won't say anything, and maybe by keeping quiet we can trick my body into actually getting that task done. Step one will be getting out of bed before everyone else. Tricky.

Related to the running is my desire to have my clothes fit. I have tried in earnest to appreciate and accept the body I have now, but the bottom line is that I have clothes that I like, and I had a body shape that I was accustomed to, and I want those things to be part of my life again. I don't know how to reconcile this to my desire to put body image in its place, but it is what it is, and I am willing to work a little harder workout-wise to be back where I was before. Because when your pants actually fit as a result of good habits, you don't obsess over your pants fitting or not. Or so I hope. I do think I've left behind the desire to be ever thinner, so at least that's some progress. And who knows, maybe if I were buying new clothes, I could just buy a size up and wouldn't care. But I'm not, so we'll just deal in reality, and I'll have extra incentive to put on my running shoes and meet the aforementioned goals (you know, the ones we're not talking about).

Run on, friends.

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